Candy Gibbs

CandyGibbsIdentity

“Your opinion of me is none of my business.”

I am learning to find my identity in what the Father says about me, rather than people.

The definition of identity is: the fact of being who a person is.

The fact.  Not the opinion or feeling.  The actual fact of who you are is your identity.

Have you read My Child, My Princess by Beth Moore?  If not, you should. It is a beautiful story about a princess who decides to leave the castle and deny who she is.  When she returns to the castle in dirty clothes after spending time trying to fit in with the townspeople, the king welcomes her with open arms. She didn’t look like a princess, and she had not been acting like a princess, but that didn’t change the fact that is a princess.

What does and does not define us or give us identity?

Here are a few things that DO NOT define us…

1- what I do cannot define me. Seasons change, positions change, I am not what I do. I am the Executive Director of CareNet Pregnancy Centers & Mentoring Programs—that doesn’t define all of me. I have children and grandchildren, so I am a mom and Gigi. That doesn’t define all of me. My son was the state wrestling champion about this time last year—a huge deal and victory for our family, what a ride! But, that sure doesn’t define him this year—he’s a freshman at Texas A&M trying to find his way with 65,000 other students.

2- my past cannot define me. Philippians 3:12-14 says “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”  If I am to forget what is behind, that means I am to forget the failures AND the successes. I was extremely sinful and immoral as a teen—even to the point of aborting my first child. But if I allow my past sin to define me, I am spitting in the face of all Christ did for me on the cross to save me, redeem me, and set me free. In the same way, if we are hanging on to a mountain-top spiritual experience from our past…”remember 5 years ago when I led that woman to Christ in Walmart? Wow, God was really moving back then.” Well, sure He was moving back then, but more importantly, He wants to move in you TODAY.

3- others’ opinions of me cannot define me. I have thought back over my life about different things people have said or things that have happened that shaped my identity—some of them are comical and some, not so much:

  • I once had a pixie haircut in elementary school. What I remember is feeling ugly and being compared to my beautiful sister and her long, thick hair.
  • Once my family stayed at a fancy hotel for a conference. At 12, I was charged with babysitting some family friends and we decided to go swimming. We took towels out of the room and went down to the pool. Little did I know a fancy hotel would have “pool area only” towels provided and taking towels from our hotel room was frowned upon. A few hotel guests laughed at us and what I remember is feeling poor and out of place.
  • I have the privilege to speak publicly fairly often and recently received a note after an event letting me know that “blondes shouldn’t wear black and white” and another note that read “your hairstyle was better last year.”
  • During my senior year of high school, the most rebellious, sinful time of my life, my Sunday School teachers would have told you that I was amazing. They all came along with family and friends to see me win the “Miss High School” favorites award just two weeks after my abortion. I felt unknown and what I remember is hearing the enemy laugh in my ear.

If your identity is based on the criticism or the praise of people, you will feel unknown, alone, and like a hypocrite.

Proverbs 12:2 says “the fear of man lays a snare but whoever trusts the Lord is safe.”

Finding your identity in what others say or think about you (good or bad) is like quicksand—you will lose yourself in it.

So…

We can’t find our identity in what we do because that will always change.

We can’t find our identity in what is behind because it’s in the past.

We can’t find our identity in what others say about us because they don’t know our hearts.

We can find our identity in…

What is unchanging, this present moment, and the One Who knows us and sets us free.

He doesn’t change—He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

He is in this moment. He calls Himself I AM.

He knows our very heart. He is our freedom.

CONTINUED…

My love,

candy gibbs, rescue parenting, teen parenting amarillo, parenting help amarillo, parenting teens amarillo

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