I was recently looking for quotes about “having it all”  and one that really caught my attention said, “We aren’t really talking about having it all…we are talking about doing it all.”

We may have it all,  but one lesson I have learned is that I certainly can’t do it all…at least not do it all well.

What I have noticed about myself personally is that I tend to do a better job of staying focused at work and not feeling like I am “cheating” CareNet…in my world, if someone gets cheated it is usually my family and particularly my husband.  We all know how to be focused at work, we’ve listened to leadership seminars, we’ve been in trainings, etc.  Our jobs are clearly defined for us, we can check of lists at work, we get evaluated, we know what focused work looks like.  We are on at a certain time and off at a certain time. We also know what the consequences are of not being fully focused at work.

What does being fully focused at home look like? This is a tougher question.  I see wonderful parents every day with my job at CareNet.  Our center sees roughly 1,300 people every month.  I meet with families who feel like the crisis they are currently in happened in an instant, but it didn’t.  Many of us believe we are doing well at home and then BOOM, we are in a crisis. How did we get there? Did we miss the warning signs?

Can we be as focused and diligent at home as we are at work?  I want to talk to you today about the number one thing I see in my line of work that throws off our (parents’ and kids’) focus—this culture is being pulled underwater by technology and social media. (If you follow my blog at all, you know that this is what I am fully focused on right now.  I can’t stop addressing it.  If you only knew what devastating situations I see, you would understand.  Just know that this is serious business and that’s why I feel the need to talk about it again.)

The number one topic I get asked to speak about is Technology.  What does that have to do with being focused at work and home?  Let me give you three real-life examples that I know about from the past few weeks:

1) Due to my position with CareNet, the staff  and I spend a considerable amount of time trying to stay current on technology, social media, and apps.  Musical.ly is very popular right now among middle school students.  I was looking into the app a few days ago and saw a video posted by a 7th grade young lady, a girl that I know. She was lipsyncing to a song containing words like g** d***, b**** and f***.  She mouthed every word but when the f*** word would come up she would put her finger over her mouth (like a “shhh” sign).  So, in the seemingly innocent hashtags, this girl had put #finger, meaning she put her finger over her mouth instead of mouthing the word f***.  So, if someone clicks on the hashtag, very quickly you can find yourself looking at pornographic images.  Most filters do not filter apps at all…I repeat, most filters do not filter apps (social media) at all.

2) I recently visited with a family who is an intact, Christian family trying to set boundaries and hold their children accountable.  This family had filters and even took up phones and all devices each night and kept them in their room.  One of the teens purchased a device without the parents’ knowledge and knew the password to the Wi-Fi in the home.  The teen was able to connect to the internet in the home and then was able to use snapchat, facetime, texting, etc.  The teen used the device to carry on explicit conversation with a girlfriend and make plans for and carry out detrimental actions to himself and the family.

3) Recently, I sat in a room talking with a typical 12-year old girl about the nude pictures she had texted to boys in her school.  I was visiting with her because of her recent suicide attempt.  Yes, this precious 12-year old had attempted suicide.  Why?  Because of the devastating consequences that come with sending nude pictures through texts.

In my opinion the number one distraction, stealing your focus at home, and that of your family…is technology.  I have a free download with current statistics, filtering options, apps, etc here that you can take a look at.  Our staff updates it regularly, so be sure to check back with us.

You may have been hoping for 3 quick and easy meal recipes or how to clean your bathrooms in under 10 minutes in order to be focused on home life—but that just won’t cut it in today’s culture. We have to focus in on what we let into and keep out of our homes.

Later this week, I will share more about being fully-focused at home this week, so stay tuned…

My love,