Everyone has a story.  As I sit here just this moment, I wonder what yours might be.  All of us have our own story unique only to us, yet parts of our stories we all have in common.   As you think back on your story and I on mine, I am sure that you see moments of silly laughter and moments of extreme tragedy.  You see times when the good guy won and times when the most innocent was hurt.  You see days that you hoped would last forever and moments you’d rather forget.  You see times when you were a good friend and times that you wish for a 60 second do-over.  You see victories–times when you felt you could overcome anything.  And you see failures–times you hope to keep hidden in the shadows of years long past.  All of these events and memories intertwine with each other to create your one-of-a -kind story.

This week I am preparing to share my story yet again.  You see, I have had the privilege of sharing part of my story more times than I can count over the last decade or so.  I was raised in a wonderful Christian home and my dad served as youth director at our small Baptist church.  I had a relationship with a young man in high school and found myself in an unplanned pregnancy.  The young man didn’t know how to help, nor did he have the support or resources he would need to offer any solution to our situation.   Within a 7 day span of time, my dad and I made the decision to abort.  It seemed like the quick fix, the easy way out.  It wasn’t.  My daughter would turn 24 this year and no matter how badly I would love a chance to make the right choice that April day in 1992…I’ll not see her pretty face this side of heaven.

Hundreds of people over the years have listened as I have shared the relevant details about those months in high school.  But I can remember like it was yesterday–the first time I ever pulled back the wrapping from that very tender wound and allowed another set of eyes to see the toll that it had taken on my heart.  He was kind.  He listened and no matter how hard I searched His eyes for a glimpse of disgust or disappointment, it wasn’t there.  Only tenderness and the most amazing unconditional, pure love, something I couldn’t begin to fathom.  He didn’t turn away in judgment, even when the most unbelievable, “how could you do that” sort of thing was revealed.  I had stuffed so much regret, sin, shame, and hurt into a back closet in my heart and closed the door vowing to never open it again.  But the miraculous happened, when we opened the door and the light of truth touched it, it was still the same mess.  Yet it had lost its power over me.  The fear was that when others know the past they will reject me.  The truth is that people may, but Him? Never.  He only bids you change, to repent.  Not only that, He gives you the Power to do it and the room you need to be different.  And then He asks that you allow Him to use it.  To use the very mess you have tucked away to be the catalyst for someone else’s change.  Once He handles the regret of your past, it is transformed into the power of your testimony.

There is so much more to my story than those few months all those years ago.  I knew the Lord as a young child.  I have made some wonderful friends.  I made good grades and I still love to compete.  I enjoy math and love being with my family.  I am married to my best friend and the strongest man I know.   I have gazed into the eyes of my new born babies, read to them in the night and held them when they were sick.  I like flowers and rainbows, and I love to worship.  I love to travel and there are so many places I would love to go.  I have known loss and disappointment.  And I have been blessed far more than I deserve.  Teenagers make me laugh and challenge me to think about things in new ways.

I say all of this for two reasons.   If there is a part a part of your story that you have not yet explored with Him, it’s time.  The enemy has blackmailed you with it for far too long.  The fear he creates surrounding the details of those moments is the only power he has.  Whether married or single, something else we all have in common is the indescribable love of a Bridegroom.  You won’t find judgment, disbelief or disgust in those eyes.  He is waiting patiently to get His own wounded hands on your bandages.  Something miraculous happens–sin loses its power and you will be free.

And the second reason, not all of us are called to share the ugly details of our past with the masses.   But when the Lord calls some of us to do just that, could we as believers and members of the same body show them some grace?  Allow the details our brothers and sisters share to be enough.  Don’t push for more.  And give them room to change, to be different.  You have to allow people time and space to climb out of a pit.  Show mercy to their families and their children and don’t gossip or look down on them in shame.  Because I would be willing to bet there are some details that you would appreciate the same grace be extended on your behalf.

We all have a story.  Yours is beautiful.  Because when I listen to your story, I hear a beautiful melody of redemption that He sings as with the word of your testimony, you defeat the enemy.

I love you,