I recently read a blog posting by Kevin DeYoung of The Gospel Coalition entitled A Transgendered Thought Experiment.  DeYoung creates a fictional account of a high school guidance counselor’s discussion with a teenager who believes she is something that she, in fact, is not.  It is an interesting take on the idea of “gender identification”.  I have posted a portion of the blog below and would encourage you to read its entirety here.

I agree wholeheartedly with DeYoung.  What is the loving response?  Truth and grace display the character of Christ and His character is hard to resist.

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Rebecca walks into your office distraught and despondent.

You’ve seen a lot of sad faces as a high school guidance counselor, but even by teenage standards Rebecca looks particularly hopeless. Not wasting any time you pull out a chair, pour her a glass of water, and push a box of tissues her way.

“Thanks,” she sniffles.

“It looks like you’re having a hard day, Rebecca.” You try to sound concerned (which you are) without seeming alarmed (which you might be). “What’s the matter?”

“Well, I’m not sure I want to talk about it.”

“It’s okay. Go ahead. I’m here to help if I can. But I’ll start by just listening.”

“Okay. The thing is, I hate the way I look. I hate my clothes. I hate my body. I hate myself.”

That doesn’t sound good, you think to yourself. “I’m really sorry to hear that, Rebecca. What else can you tell me?”

“Not much really. It’s just that I’m horribly fat. I’ve always felt fat, ever since I was five years old. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t wish for a different body. I’m fat and I’m ugly.”

“But Rebecca,” you start to interrupt, only to have her interrupt right back.

“I know what you’re going to say. You’re going to say I’m fine the way I am. Or you are going to tell me I’m too thin. Or that I’m beautiful. Or some other garbage line. I’ve heard them before. Nothing will change how I feel. I’m fat. That’s why I have to wear these baggy clothes. That’s why I hardly eat anymore. That’s why whenever I do eat I find a bathroom and puke up whatever I just ate. You don’t understand. No one understands. I’m fat. I’ve always been fat. Why won’t anyone let me be what I am?”

At this point there is a pause in the conversation that seems to go on for hours. It lasts only a few seconds, but in those seconds a flood of thoughts enter your mind. You think about trying to get to the bottom of Rebecca’s feelings. You think about scheduling another meeting for tomorrow so you could call her parents and ask her what they’ve been doing to help Rebecca. You think about telling Rebecca what you see with your eyes, that she’s a perfectly normal looking, sweet 15 year old girl. You think about mentioning how concerned you are that it looks like she’s gone from 125 pounds to 95 pounds since the beginning of the school year. You think about presenting the biological facts about a healthy BMI and the importance of daily nutrition. You think about how you want to make sure no one is picking on her and how you’d like her friends to help Rebecca see what she can’t seem to see. Most of all, you think about how you wish Rebecca didn’t feel this way and how you want to do everything in your power to help her understand the way things really are.”

But then another thought enters your mind…

Click here to read the rest of DeYoung’s orginal post and decide if you believe this sounds like love to you.

 

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Kevin DeYoung is senior pastor of University Reformed Church (PCA) in East Lansing, Michigan, near Michigan State University. He and his wife Trisha have six young children. You can follow him on Twitter.